


Strength is more than swords

by Feathersmeanfreedom



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Character Study, Merlin is good with kids, POV Arthur, Parental Gaius, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 04:10:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15307212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feathersmeanfreedom/pseuds/Feathersmeanfreedom
Summary: Arthur and Gaius have a heart-to-heart about Merlin.





	Strength is more than swords

Arthur felt Gaius come up next to him more than he saw him.

He followed Arthur’s gaze to where Merlin was, as it seemed to be most days, then made noise of understanding. On the castle’s wall, they were out of sight of him, not that he noticed; Merlin was telling a few children a story. Arthur had spent enough time with him to know exactly how he would tell it. His hands were just as important as his voice, both adding layers of detail and humor or suspense. Even from here, he was animated, and his voice would be entrancing. 

“How does he do it?” Arthur asked. 

Arthur almost thought Gaius wouldn’t answer. “He sees the world differently than us.”

He knew that. He’d known that the first day he’d met him, utterly unafraid of his power and position. “How?” 

He knew Merlin kept secrets, and most of the time he didn’t mind. It was only at times like these, when Merlin showed entirely different sides of himself, that he wish he knew some of them. If only to understand how Merlin could be so hopeful about the world. It would be annoying if it wasn’t endearing.

“It’s his way of fighting.” Gaius’ voice was far away. “Through stubbornly refusing to accept anything but what he thinks is right.”

Arthur smiled. “He is stubborn about that, isn’t he?” He refuses to think about what would happen when that stubbornness became too much.

“He constantly surprises me,” Gaius said. Arthur didn’t think the man had any intention of saying it.

“He thinks of you as a father,” Arthur said. It was one of the few things he knew for certain about Merlin. Even when Merlin kept everything else a secret, he would know that. 

“I never thought I’d be lucky enough to have a son,” Gaius replied. 

“You’re good for each other.” Arthur had never known Gaius to be so...young as he had since Merlin arrived.

“And him for you,” Gaius said. He nudged him in the way parents did when teasing their child. 

“Really?” 

Gaius nodded. “You never gave a thought to the people before meeting him.” Arthur opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out under Gaius’ stare. He shut his mouth. “You wanted to protect them, but it was more out of duty than an actual desire to help them.”

“He’s rather hard to ignore,” he said ruefully. Arthur remembered that there used to be so many shouting matches between them that the guards stopped barging in when it happened. Either that or they realized that Merlin would sooner harm himself than Arthur, and he was just trying to get him to realize that he was being a prat. They’d stopped for the most part, right around when Arthur got his head out of his arse and took Merlin’s advice. 

They were silent for a while, watching Merlin tell his story. 

“He seems lost sometimes, like he doesn’t know who he is,” Arthur said quietly. “I wish I could show him.”

Gaius glanced at him, but took in Arthur’s tense shoulders and turned back to Merlin, but he wasn’t seeing him. “He’s been through things we couldn’t begin to imagine.”

He didn’t ask what, or say how ridiculous it was. No matter what he said to other people, he knew that when Merlin wasn’t paying attention, he would sink into himself for days. There would be such heartbreak behind his eyes that Arthur wanted to protect him and never let him leave. “I know.”

“No, you don’t; neither of us do.” Gaius was suddenly much older. There was pain in his eyes, reflections of failures. He got the impression Gaius rarely let himself think about it. Arthur couldn’t begin to imagine how alone Merlin must be, if even his mentor couldn’t truly understand him.

“I want to,” Arthur said softly, an admission even to himself. “I wish he would trust me enough.”

“Maybe he’s waiting for something,” Gaius said after a moment. He used the voice he used to use when he was leading Arthur to the answer. Gaius had never given him an answer outright: it was one of the best and worse parts of having Gaius as a tutor. 

“He’s waiting for me to prove that I’m worthy of his trust?” His heart skipped a beat at the sheer amount of hope that flooded him. 

Gaius didn’t answer right away. “Merlin doesn’t trust people easily.”

Arthur nodded. 

“And when he does, he has to be certain it won’t be betrayed.”

“Why?” 

“Very few people are worthy of his trust.” He looked out at Merlin again, then back at Arthur. His gaze held all the fierceness of a knight protecting their loved ones; he was familiar with it, but not from Gaius. “For his sake, I hope you are.”

With that, Gaius left the castle wall. As if feeling his eyes on him, Merlin turned to look up at him. A slow, hesitant smile grew on his face, and he extended a hand in greeting. 

Arthur found himself smiling back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts (coherent or otherwise) are always welcome!


End file.
